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"JOKE OF THE MONTH"
The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.
Please send
me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit,
but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).
Dan
Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California
Nevada Cowboy
A
Nevada cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the mew Elko
movie theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy,
"Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became more impatient and said, "Sir, if you don't get up
from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."
The
cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle and
in a moment, he returned with the manager. Together, the two of them
tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the sheriff.
The Elko Sheriff with his deputy surveyed the situation briefly, and
then the Sheriff asked in a very deep voice, "All right buddy, what's
your name?"
"Len," the cowboy moaned.
"Where ya from, Len?"
With pain in his voice, Len replied, "The balcony."
Biography
for Joke of the Month Winner Dan Sorkin
Other previous months that Dan has won:
http://www.americanleasing.com/entertainment/monthjokes/monthjoke_jan_2002.htm
http://www.americanleasing.com/entertainment/monthjokes/monthjoke_June_2001.htm
http://www.americanleasing.com/entertainment/monthjokes/monthjoke_June_2000.htm
http://www.americanleasing.com/entertainment/monthjokes/monthjoke_Dec99.htm
http://www.americanleasing.com/entertainment/jokes/previousjokes8.html
Dan Sorkin has been a radio disk jockey for over fifty years. He is
75 years old, still going strong, riding his motorcycle, flying his
airplane, and expanding his web site, almost like a franchise, all
over the world: http:// www.stumps.org. " I am fully occupied
with the global
He
sends many great jokes, plus collects them, for use on the air, his
web
He
had a morning show of mine on WCFL in Chicago that ran for 12 years
from 6-9 AM. "My WCFL morning radio show. WCFL stood for the
Chicago Federation of Labor. It was the only labor owned radio station
in the country. With 50,000 watts at 1000 on the dial we had national
coverage. The union has since sold the station and the call letters
were changed to something else."
He
has been making me laugh since 1964 when I was the news editor at
KFRC radio
in San Francisco and he was the number one morning disk jockey (he
He
was injured in a motorcycle accident, which changed his life. He writes
"It
was a sweet summer evening in 1968 in Tomales Bay, California when
I
"Then
it happened...I took a curve on the Novato highway too fast and left
"I
spent a year in the hospital thinking".
"The
doctors asked me to visit other potential amputees in the hospital
"Although
in 1968 the name did not exist yet, "Stumps 'R Us" was born.
Since
this story, Dan's organization "Stumps _R Us" has grown
nationwide,
He
lives in Rossmoor, Walnut Creek, California with his Jody. They
He
adds about www.stumps.org: "Contributions are always welcomed.
Our Federal
Past Jokes of the Month
Year
2002
May 2002
Gene
Blakeslee
Monte Sereno, California
"The Retirement Package"
April
Kevin Bennett
San Jose, California
"The Highway Patrolman and the Blonde"
His Prize: Bottle of 1996 Rombauer Napa Valley Merlot
March
Peter S. Carter
Los Gatos, California
"Golfer Answers Cell Phone Call"
His prize: a bottle of 1994 Beringer Howell Mountain Merlot,
with the request Kit and Sue join he and his wife for dinner to enjoy
the win together.
February
Stewart Kahn
Redondo Beach, California
"Mother Superior"
Prize is a dinner for two at California Cafe
( this is his third time )
January
Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California
" Warshawsky's Bar"
His prize: $100 Certificate for Dinner at California Cafe
Dan has won six times!!!
Past Jokes of the Month
Year
2001
December
Randy Schiell
Denver, Colorado " Noah's Ark"
His prize: 1997 Stag's Leap Wine Cellars Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon
November
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
1998 Dalla Valle Pietre Rosse, Dalla Valle Vineyards, Oakville,
Napa and 1996 Chateau Woltner Chardonnay, St. Thomas Vineyards, Howell
Mountain, Napa
"Viagra"
October
Farley Gouner
San Jose, California
He did not want wine or chocolate, but to have lunch with Kit Menkin.
(please no cracks that is the second place prize.)
"Non-Violent Solution"
September
Samuel R. Swift, A.P.L.C.
San Jose, California
A case of Gordon Birsch Marzen beer
"Stock Tip"
August
Steve Gabriel,
San Jose, California
A case of .375 ml 1995 Duckhorn Merlot Howell Mountain
* Finally! -- a Blonde GUY Joke!
July
Charlene Lunny
San Francisco, California
Dinner at Scoma's Restaurant, San Francisco
"BMW"
June
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
zChocolate
"Fishing in East Texas"
May
Jeff Reynolds, Oakland, California.
This is his second time. He won in January. He receives six bottles
of 1997 Chateau Woltner Howell Mountain Chardonnay.
“Stopped by the Police”
April
Hal Sharpe, Paradise, California
He receives the best chocolate assortment from Dan's Chocolates.
"Scotch and Water"
March
Leigh Weimers, Los Gatos, California
French zChocolate Peche", 1996 Galante Vineyards Cabernet
Sasuvignon Red Rose Hill Carmel Valley, 1998 Eos Chardonnay Paso Robles
"Grandpa"
February
Larry Faber
Mountain View, California
" Nevada Winter "
Second time he has won, dinner for two with Kit and Sue, plus a
bottle of his favorite wine, 1996 Duckhorn Vineyard Merlot
January
Jeff Reynolds
Oakland, California
Thirteen!!!
A bottle of 1996 Joseph Phelps Merlot Napa Valley
Past Jokes of the Month
Year 2000
December
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
"Bald Eagle"
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Vineyards Merlot Los Carneros
of Napa Valley
November
Leigh Weimers,
Los Gatos, California
Pest Control Inspector Gets Caught
Two pound box of Schurra's Fancy Chocolate.
(also a Christmas present to Leigh and Geri)
October
Jeff Wong,
of San Francisco, California
Take my wife, please
One pound Box of Godiva Chocolate.
September
Captain James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
POLISH AIR DISASTER
One pound Millenium Box of See's Chocolate.
August
Larry Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish Sex Therapy
Bottle of 1995 Duckhorn Napa Estate Merlot.
July
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
Father O'Reilley
Two pound box of Fancy Godiva Chocolate and Truffles.
June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish Poker Game
Rutherford Hill 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon, Methuslah.
(he is a four time winner, this winery not only overlooks Auberge du
Soleil in Napa Valley, but producess some outstanding red and white
wine)
May
Chuck Brady, Saratoga, California
Man goes to see the Rabbi
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa
Private Reserve.
April
Stewart Kahn of Redondo Beach, California.
80,000 Blondes
A 1 ˝ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva
Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner
March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A 1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward
February
Dash Menkin of Elko, Nevada
The Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate as his award.
January
Jim Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine Day box to give to his sweetheart
Past
Jokes of the Month
Year 1999
December
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey
Merlot
Third Time Winner
November
Stewart
Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
October
Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese
September
Dougald Turnbull of Campbell,
California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville
August
Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen
Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot
Second Time Winner
July
Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
June
Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon
Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate
May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley,
Oaksville
April
Jerry Jacob, San
Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
February
R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal
January
Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz
Mountain Appellation
Past
Jokes of the Month
Year 1998
December
Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco
49ergame at 3Com Park
November
Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay
October
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles
September
Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc
August
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
July
Jim
Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte Bello
June
Nanette
Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
May
Walter
J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone Classico Chianti
April
Jim
Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
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