"JOKE OF THE MONTH"
The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.
Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winners choice).
Winner for October
A photographic mind of jokes, the Chinese Henny Youngman.
'Thanks for the honor. Twice. I would love the box of chocolates although I should go on a diet. I'm getting so fat that my shadow killed a dog. When I get my shoes shined, I have to take the guy's word for it. I went into Nordstrom the other day and said to the clerk, "I'd like to see a bathing suit in my size." The clerk said, "So would I." I'm so fat I had to give up my beeper...every time it went off people thought I was backing up. I was fat as a kid too...all I could play was "seek".'
Jeff Wong is a partner at the San Francisco law firm of Cooper, White & Cooper LLP where he specializes in equipment leasing and asset-based financing. He does both transactions and litigation. He is the editor of the three volume treatise Equipment Leasing and co-editor of Commercial Finance Guide (2 vol.) and Commercial Loan Documentation Guide (2 vol.) all published by Lexis Publishing (Matthew Bender). He was a former director of the ELA and is a member of the American College of Commercial Finance Lawyers. A more detailed CV can be viewed at his firm's web site www.cwclaw.com
Jeff also serves on several of the leasing association board of directors, and other organizations, not only for his leasing knowledge and recognized expertise, but he is a very well sought after "stand-up comic." He is a professional. He has everyone rolling in the aisles. We all have told him he has missed his calling. Great delivery.
Jeff's San Francisco Restaurant Bay Area Guide is also featured at www.americanleasing.com, and co incidently, he just up-dated it. Click here to go to it.
Take my wife, please
my father told me after my divorce was "Next time, find a woman you hate
and buy her a house in advance, it'll be cheaper." My mother keeps asking
me when I'm getting married again and I tell her I don't know because I can't
find a woman I want to spend the next four years of my life with. My sex life
has not been good lately. The other night after making love to my girlfriend I
asked her if she was faking it. She replied, "No, I really was sleeep."
We're into S&M now. She snores and I masturbate. We had to put a strobelight
in our bedroom so that when we make love it look like were moving...
Past Jokes of the Month
Jokes of the Month
348 Mathew Street, Santa Clara, California 95050
(The heart of Silicon Valley - home of AMD, Intel,
National Semiconductor, 3COM, Yahoo, among many others)
Voice: 800-727-3844 Fax: 800-727-3851