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"JOKE OF THE MONTH"
The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.
Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).
Winner for October
Jeff
Wong,
San Francisco, CA.
A photographic mind of jokes, the Chinese Henny Youngman.
'Kit--
'Thanks for the honor. Twice. I would love the box of chocolates although I should go on a diet. I'm getting so fat that my shadow killed a dog. When I get my shoes shined, I have to take the guy's word for it. I went into Nordstrom the other day and said to the clerk, "I'd like to see a bathing suit in my size." The clerk said, "So would I." I'm so fat I had to give up my beeper...every time it went off people thought I was backing up. I was fat as a kid too...all I could play was "seek".'
Jeff Wong is a partner at the San Francisco law firm of Cooper, White & Cooper LLP where he specializes in equipment leasing and asset-based financing. He does both transactions and litigation. He is the editor of the three volume treatise Equipment Leasing and co-editor of Commercial Finance Guide (2 vol.) and Commercial Loan Documentation Guide (2 vol.) all published by Lexis Publishing (Matthew Bender). He was a former director of the ELA and is a member of the American College of Commercial Finance Lawyers. A more detailed CV can be viewed at his firm's web site www.cwclaw.com
Jeff also serves on several of the leasing association board of directors, and other organizations, not only for his leasing knowledge and recognized expertise, but he is a very well sought after "stand-up comic." He is a professional. He has everyone rolling in the aisles. We all have told him he has missed his calling. Great delivery.
Jeff's San Francisco Restaurant Bay Area Guide is also featured at www.americanleasing.com, and co incidently, he just up-dated it. Click here to go to it.
Take my wife, please
What
my father told me after my divorce was "Next time, find a woman you hate
and buy her a house in advance, it'll be cheaper." My mother keeps asking
me when I'm getting married again and I tell her I don't know because I can't
find a woman I want to spend the next four years of my life with. My sex life
has not been good lately. The other night after making love to my girlfriend I
asked her if she was faking it. She replied, "No, I really was sleeep."
We're into S&M now. She snores and I masturbate. We had to put a strobelight
in our bedroom so that when we make love it look like were moving...
Past Jokes of the Month
2000
September
Captain
James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
POLISH AIR DISASTER
August
Larry
Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish
Sex Therapy
July
John Wold of
St. Charles, Illinois
Father
O'Reilley
June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish
Poker Game
May
Chuck Brady,
Saratoga, California
Man goes to see the Rabbi
A
bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa Private Reserve.
April
Stewart Kahn of
Redondo Beach, California.
80,000
Blondes
A 1 ½ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva
Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner
March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A
1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward
February
Dash Menkin of Elko,
Nevada
The
Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate
as his award.
January
Jim
Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A
big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine
Day box to give to his sweetheart
Past
Jokes of the Month
1999
December
Dan
Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A
case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey Merlot
Third
Time Winner
November
Stewart
Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
October
Randy
Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel
Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese
September
Dougald
Turnbull of Campbell, California
1989
Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon
Napa Valley, Oakville
August
Wally
Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St.
Julien Monterey Estate Merlot
Second
Time Winner
July
Kevin
Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve,
Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros,
Napa Valley
June
Chris
Cross of Hayward, California
1997
Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County
Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate
May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley,
Oaksville
April
Jerry
Jacob, San
Rafael, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
March
Bob
Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
February
R. Donald
Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop.
Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal
January
Jim
Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet
Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation
1998
December
Russ
Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass
for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park
November
Kim
Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay
October
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and
second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles
September
Rosalie,
Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de
Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc
August
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
July
Jim
Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte
Bello
June
Nanette
Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
May
Walter
J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone
Classico Chianti
April
Jim
Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
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