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Kit Menkin

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You are listening to
"Moan"

"JOKE OF THE MONTH"

The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win  (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.

Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).


Winner for October

Jeff Wong,
San Francisco, CA.

A photographic mind of jokes, the Chinese Henny Youngman.

'Kit--

'Thanks for the honor. Twice. I would love the box of chocolates although I should go on a diet. I'm getting so fat that my shadow killed a dog. When I get my shoes shined, I have to take the guy's word for it. I went into Nordstrom the other day and said to the clerk, "I'd like to see a bathing suit in my size." The clerk said, "So would I." I'm so fat I had to give up my beeper...every time it went off people thought I was backing up. I was fat as a kid too...all I could play was "seek".'

Jeff Wong is a partner at the San Francisco law firm of Cooper, White & Cooper LLP where he specializes in equipment leasing and asset-based financing. He does both transactions and litigation. He is the editor of the three volume treatise Equipment Leasing and co-editor of Commercial Finance Guide (2 vol.) and Commercial Loan Documentation Guide (2 vol.) all published by Lexis Publishing (Matthew Bender). He was a former director of the ELA and is a member of the American College of Commercial Finance Lawyers. A more detailed CV can be viewed at his firm's web site www.cwclaw.com

Jeff also serves on several of the leasing association board of directors, and other organizations, not only for his leasing knowledge and recognized expertise, but he is a very well sought after "stand-up comic." He is a professional. He has everyone rolling in the aisles. We all have told him he has missed his calling. Great delivery.

Jeff's San Francisco Restaurant Bay Area Guide is also featured at www.americanleasing.com, and co incidently, he just up-dated it. Click here to go to it.

Take my wife, please

What my father told me after my divorce was "Next time, find a woman you hate and buy her a house in advance, it'll be cheaper." My mother keeps asking me when I'm getting married again and I tell her I don't know because I can't find a woman I want to spend the next four years of my life with. My sex life has not been good lately. The other night after making love to my girlfriend I asked her if she was faking it. She replied, "No, I really was sleeep." We're into S&M now. She snores and I masturbate. We had to put a strobelight in our bedroom so that when we make love it look like were moving...

 


 

Past Jokes of the Month

2000

September
Captain James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
POLISH AIR DISASTER

August
Larry Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish Sex Therapy

July
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
Father O'Reilley

June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish Poker Game

May
Chuck Brady
, Saratoga, California
 Man goes to see the Rabbi
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa Private Reserve.

April
Stewart Kahn of Redondo Beach, California.
80,000 Blondes
A 1 pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner

March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A 1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward

February
Dash Menkin of Elko, Nevada
The Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate as his award.

January
Jim Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine Day box to give to his sweetheart

Past Jokes of the Month
1999

December
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey Merlot
Third Time Winner

November
Stewart Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

October
Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese

September
Dougald Turnbull of Campbell, California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville

August
Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot

Second Time Winner

July
Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley


June

Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate

May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, Oaksville

April
Jerry Jacob,
San Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

February
R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal

January
Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation

 

1998

December
Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park

November
Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay

October
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles

September
Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc

August
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

July
Jim Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte Bello

June
Nanette Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

May
Walter J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone Classico Chianti

April
Jim Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

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348 Mathew Street, Santa Clara, California 95050
(The heart of Silicon Valley - home of AMD, Intel,
National Semiconductor, 3COM, Yahoo, among many others)

Voice: 800-727-3844 Fax: 800-727-3851
Kitm@americanleasing.com