Winner Joke of the Month

The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.

Please send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit, but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The blonde guy rushes upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You rotten bastard," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

Steve Gabriel
steve@tsantes.com
Senior Account Executive
Tsantes & Associates/Porter Novelli

Steve Gabriel has nearly three years of high-tech public relations experience. He joined Tsantes & Associates in 1999 and is responsible for the management of his Client's daily projects and budgets, as well as developing and implementing communications programs.

Currently, Gabriel manages the public relations program for Synplicity, an EDA company delivering synthesis and verification solutions for the design of semiconductors. Most recently, Gabriel was instrumental in the development of a public relations program and the successful product launch of Synplicity's ASIC synthesis solution, obtaining international press coverage. Additionally, Gabriel has played a key role in launching such products as the company's single chip verification software and the industry's first physical synthesis tool for programmable logic designers. Gabriel manages Synplicity's international public relations campaign, coordinating with agencies in Japan and Europe to deliver a global corporate message. He also oversees Synplicity's editorial programs and has obtained significant press coverage in key trade and business publications. While at Tsantes & Associates, Gabriel has worked with such companies as Artisan Components, IDT, NetLogic Microsystems, Semtech and Veridicom.

Gabriel has a degree in public relations from Pepperdine University. He is married and currently lives with his wife Gretchen in San Jose, Calif. Apart from coordinating field trips with his coworkers to local watering holes, Gabriel is an avid sports fan and will rarely turn down a proposed tee time.

Past Jokes of the Month

Year 2001

July
Charlene Lunny
San Francisco, California
"BMW"

June
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
"Fishing in East Texas"

May
Jeff Reynolds, Oakland, California.
This is his second time. He won in January. He receives six bottles of 1997 Chateau Woltner Howell Mountain Chardonnay.
“Stopped by the Police”

April
Hal Sharpe, Paradise, California
He receives the best chocolate assortment from Dan's Chocolates.
"Scotch and Water"

March
Leigh Weimers, Los Gatos, California
French zChocolate Peche", 1996 Galante Vineyards Cabernet Sasuvignon Red Rose Hill Carmel Valley, 1998 Eos Chardonnay Paso Robles
"Grandpa"

February
Larry Faber
Mountain View, California
" Nevada Winter "
Second time he has won, dinner for two with Kit and Sue, plus a bottle of his favorite wine, 1996 Duckhorn Vineyard Merlot

January
Jeff Reynolds
Oakland, California
Thirteen!!!
A bottle of 1996 Joseph Phelps Merlot Napa Valley

Year 2000

December
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
"Bald Eagle"
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Vineyards Merlot Los Carneros of Napa Valley

November
Leigh Weimers,
Los Gatos, California
Pest Control Inspector Gets Caught
Two pound box of Schurra's Fancy Chocolate.
(also a Christmas present to Leigh and Geri)

October
Jeff Wong,
of San Francisco, California
Take my wife, please
One pound Box of Godiva Chocolate.

September
Captain James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
POLISH AIR DISASTER
One pound Millenium Box of See's Chocolate.

August
Larry Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish Sex Therapy
Bottle of 1995 Duckhorn Napa Estate Merlot.

July
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
Father O'Reilley
Two pound box of Fancy Godiva Chocolate and Truffles.

June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish Poker Game
Rutherford Hill 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon, Methuslah.
(he is a four time winner, this winery not only overlooks Auberge du Soleil in Napa Valley, but producess some outstanding red and white wine)

May
Chuck Brady, Saratoga, California
Man goes to see the Rabbi
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa Private Reserve.

April
Stewart Kahn of Redondo Beach, California.
80,000 Blondes
A 1 ½ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner

March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A 1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward

February
Dash Menkin of Elko, Nevada
The Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate as his award.

January
Jim Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine Day box to give to his sweetheart

Past Jokes of the Month
Year 1999

December
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey Merlot
Third Time Winner

November
Stewart Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

October
Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese

September
Dougald Turnbull of Campbell, California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville

August
Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot
Second Time Winner

July
Kevin Skelly of Saratoga, California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley

June
Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate

May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley, Oaksville

April
Jerry Jacob, San Rafael, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

February
R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal

January
Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation

Past Jokes of the Month
Year 1998

December
Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park

November
Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay

October
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles

September
Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc

August
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

July
Jim Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte Bello

June
Nanette Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate

May
Walter J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone Classico Chianti

April
Jim Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate