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"JOKE OF THE MONTH"
The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.
Please
send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit,
but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winner’s choice).
Winner for April 2002
Kevin
Bennett
San Jose, California
His Prize: Bottle of 1996 Rombauer Napa Valley Merlot
The Highway Patrolman and the Blonde
A
highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!"
"NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Kevin
Clinton Bennett
Biography
Kevin Clinton Bennett operated a dry cleaning business in Santa Clara
for almost 24 years (Nelson
Cleaners on Washington Street; also servicing many hotels in San Jose
). He retired last year and has spent the succeeding months doing some
traveling,
working on projects around his house in San Jose, managing his real estate properties, and trying to stay under the radar of his wife or 32 years, Debbie. He is outspoken in his opinions and frequently sends letters to the San Jose Mercury News. He was an officer of the Porsche Club of Santa Clara County. Kevin has been a regular joke contributor for many years and he has surfed the internet for so long that he claims to be the one who gave Al Gore the idea.
I asked him if his middle name was Clinton, as he always jokes around, enjoying
taking different sides just for the dialogue:
“Yes, it is really Clinton. My uncle Clinton was an alcoholic prison guard
at Folsom prison if you would like to include that, (I am serious, he is
long dead). I am still a member of the Porsche club (1963 model 356) but am
no longer an officer nor am I nearly as active. My son, Kevin Christopher
works for LSI logic, his wife is an engineer for Loral working on
satellites. They have two kids, Emily and Alexander who are the best GK's
ever made. The real estate was sold and we are now invested with Passco Real Estate
with 10% tenant-in-common ownership in three shopping centers, one near
Sacramento and two near San Diego.
“A winner at last! For years I have submitted jokes!!! I drank more wine on the recent trip to Germany than I have in my entire life combined. I have never participated
in a bottle of gift wine before but, while I may not have the experience to truly savor its nuances, I will have Debbie's vast experience to lean on and look forward to actually drinking it with Debbie.”
Wine to be determined by Debbie, who by the way, is not only a very attractive lady,
but gives great parties and is quite a cook.
Past Jokes of the Month
Year
2002
March
Peter S. Carter
Los Gatos, California
"Golfer Answers Cell Phone Call"
His prize: a bottle of 1994 Beringer Howell Mountain Merlot,
with the request Kit and Sue join he and his wife for dinner to enjoy
the win together.
February
Stewart Kahn
Redondo Beach, California
"Mother Superior"
Prize is a dinner for two at California Cafe
( this is his third time )
January
Dan Sorkin
Walnut Creek, California
" Warshawsky's Bar"
His prize: $100 Certificate for Dinner at California Cafe
Dan has won six times!!!
Past Jokes of the Month
Year
2001
December
Randy Schiell
Denver, Colorado " Noah's Ark"
His prize: 1997 Stag's Leap Wine Cellars Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon
November
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
1998 Dalla Valle Pietre Rosse, Dalla Valle Vineyards, Oakville,
Napa and 1996 Chateau Woltner Chardonnay, St. Thomas Vineyards, Howell
Mountain, Napa
"Viagra"
October
Farley Gouner
San Jose, California
He did not want wine or chocolate, but to have lunch with Kit Menkin.
(please no cracks that is the second place prize.)
"Non-Violent Solution"
September
Samuel R. Swift, A.P.L.C.
San Jose, California
A case of Gordon Birsch Marzen beer
"Stock Tip"
August
Steve Gabriel,
San Jose, California
A case of .375 ml 1995 Duckhorn Merlot Howell Mountain
* Finally! -- a Blonde GUY Joke!
July
Charlene Lunny
San Francisco, California
Dinner at Scoma's Restaurant, San Francisco
"BMW"
June
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
zChocolate
"Fishing in East Texas"
May
Jeff Reynolds, Oakland, California.
This is his second time. He
won in January. He receives six bottles of 1997 Chateau Woltner Howell
Mountain Chardonnay.
“Stopped by the Police”
April
Hal Sharpe, Paradise, California
He receives the best chocolate assortment from Dan's Chocolates.
"Scotch and Water"
March
Leigh Weimers, Los Gatos, California
French zChocolate Peche", 1996 Galante Vineyards Cabernet
Sasuvignon Red Rose Hill Carmel Valley, 1998 Eos Chardonnay Paso Robles
"Grandpa"
February
Larry Faber
Mountain View, California
" Nevada Winter "
Second time he has won, dinner for two with Kit and Sue, plus a
bottle of his favorite wine, 1996 Duckhorn Vineyard Merlot
January
Jeff Reynolds
Oakland, California
Thirteen!!!
A bottle of 1996 Joseph Phelps Merlot Napa Valley
Past Jokes of the Month
Year 2000
December
Rob Yohe,
Stillwater, Kansas
"Bald Eagle"
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Vineyards Merlot Los Carneros
of Napa Valley
November
Leigh Weimers,
Los Gatos, California
Pest Control Inspector Gets Caught
Two pound box of Schurra's Fancy Chocolate.
(also a Christmas present to Leigh and Geri)
October
Jeff Wong,
of San Francisco, California
Take my wife, please
One pound Box of Godiva Chocolate.
September
Captain James Sloan, Salvation Army
of San Jose, California
POLISH AIR DISASTER
One pound Millenium Box of See's Chocolate.
August
Larry Faber, Mountain View, California
Jewish Sex Therapy
Bottle of 1995 Duckhorn Napa Estate Merlot.
July
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
Father O'Reilley
Two pound box of Fancy Godiva Chocolate and Truffles.
June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
Jewish Poker Game
Rutherford Hill 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon, Methuslah.
(he is a four time winner, this winery not only overlooks Auberge du
Soleil in Napa Valley, but producess some outstanding red and white
wine)
May
Chuck Brady, Saratoga, California
Man goes to see the Rabbi
A bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa
Private Reserve.
April
Stewart Kahn of Redondo Beach, California.
80,000 Blondes
A 1 ˝ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva
Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award.
A Second Time Winner
March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois
The Internet Warnings
A 1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward
February
Dash Menkin of Elko, Nevada
The Blonde and the Attorney
A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate as his award.
January
Jim Hanzlik of Watsonville, California
A big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector,
plus a Valentine Day box to give to his sweetheart
Past
Jokes of the Month
Year 1999
December
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California
A case of Chateau St. Julien
Monterey Merlot
Third Time Winner
November
Stewart
Kahn of Los Angeles, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
October
Randy Warshawsky of San Jose, California
1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1996 Castillo Saugiuvese
September
Dougald Turnbull of Campbell,
California
1989 Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon Napa Valley, Oakville
August
Wally Lunny of San Francisco/Glen
Elen, California
A case of 1997 Chateau St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot
Second Time Winner
July
Kevin Skelly of Saratoga,
California
1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros, Napa Valley
June
Chris Cross of Hayward, California
1997 Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon
Blanc,
1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County Pinot Noir
and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate
May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley,
Oaksville
April
Jerry Jacob, San
Rafael, California
One pound box of
Godiva Chocolate
March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California
One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
February
R. Donald Chapman, San Jose, California
1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop. Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal
January
Jim Beck, Los Gatos, California
1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet Sauvignon, Santa Cruz
Mountain Appellation
Past
Jokes of the Month
Year 1998
December
Russ Mattos, Mountain View, California
Two great tickets plus parking pass for the Monday Night San Francisco
49ergame at 3Com Park
November
Kim Davison, San Jose, California
Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay
October
Dan Sorkin, Piedmont, California
Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and second time winner,
one pound box of Godiva Truffles
September
Rosalie, Santa Cruz, California
1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de
Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc
August
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
July
Jim
Swander, Bellevue, Washington
1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte
Bello
June
Nanette
Weintraub, Los Gatos, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
May
Walter
J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California
1976 Bolla Amarone
Classico Chianti
April
Jim
Hanzlik, Watsonville, California
One pound box of Godiva Chocolate
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