"JOKE
OF THE MONTH" The
rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win
(relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision
of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included,
and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also
win a second or third time - There is no limit. Please
send me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit,
but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winners choice).
Winner
for
July Charlene
Lunny San Francisco, California BMW
Mervyn
was driving to Elko, Nevada for the Willie Nelson Classic Golf Tournament, and
decided to get some gas in Winnemucca. He
pulled into the Winnemucca Texaco, and was greeted by the attendant, who asked
him, "Do you need any oil?". "Thanks,
but this car is relatively new and doesn't need any."
The attendant started looking all over the car, which is not that uncommon.
"Is that the James Bond car?"
" Similar, but this is the latest, the M-3 with the big engine." "Never
seen one like it before." "Well,"
Mervyn responded." This is a very special car. I am sure you have not seen many
of them in Winnemucca."
"What all it got in it?" asked the attendant.
"Well," said Mervyn, "It has the big engine, and its automatic with wood paneling
and is the top of the line. Heated seats. The side mirrors you can adjust. Special
sound. The wind stays off your head. And it has every feature you can think of.
digital instrument package, and best of all, the 8.2 liter V6 engine." "Wow,"
said the attendant, "that's really somethin'." "Thank's
for asking about the oil," Kit said.
"Are you going to pay with a card or cash?," asked the attendant. Mervyn
pulled out his cash from one pocket and then went into the other pocket and pulls
out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are golf tees.
"What are those little wooden things?" asks the attendant. "That's
what I put my balls on when I drive," Mervyn said. "Wow,"
said the attendant, "Those BMW people really think of everything!"
Past
Jokes of the Month Year
2001 June Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California "Fishing
in East Texas" May Jeff
Reynolds, Oakland, California.
This is his second time. He won
in January. He receives six bottles of 1997
Chateau Woltner Howell Mountain Chardonnay.
“Stopped by the Police” April Hal
Sharpe, Paradise, California He receives the best chocolate assortment
from Dan's Chocolates. "Scotch and Water" March Leigh
Weimers, Los Gatos, California French zChocolate Peche",
1996 Galante Vineyards Cabernet Sasuvignon Red Rose Hill Carmel Valley, 1998
Eos Chardonnay Paso Robles "Grandpa" February Larry
Faber Mountain View, California "
Nevada Winter " Second
time he has won, dinner for two with Kit and Sue, plus a bottle of his favorite
wine, 1996 Duckhorn Vineyard Merlot January Jeff
Reynolds Oakland, California Thirteen!!! A
bottle of 1996 Joseph Phelps Merlot Napa Valley Past
Jokes of the Month Year
2000 December Rob
Yohe, Stillwater, Kansas "Bald Eagle" A bottle
of 1996 Robert Sinskey Vineyards Merlot Los Carneros of Napa Valley
November Leigh
Weimers, Los Gatos, California Pest Control Inspector Gets Caught
Two pound box of Schurra's Fancy Chocolate. (also a Christmas
present to Leigh and Geri) October Jeff
Wong, of San Francisco, California Take
my wife, please One pound Box of Godiva Chocolate. September Captain
James Sloan, Salvation Army of San Jose, California POLISH AIR
DISASTER One pound Millenium Box of See's Chocolate. August Larry
Faber, Mountain View, California Jewish
Sex Therapy Bottle of 1995 Duckhorn Napa Estate Merlot. July
John Wold of
St. Charles, Illinois
Father
O'Reilley Two pound box of Fancy Godiva Chocolate and Truffles.
June
Dan Sorkin of Piedmont, California Jewish
Poker Game Rutherford Hill 1984 Cabernet Sauvignon, Methuslah. (he
is a four time winner, this winery not only overlooks Auberge du Soleil in Napa
Valley, but producess some outstanding red and white wine)
May
Chuck Brady,
Saratoga, California Man goes to see the Rabbi A
bottle of 1996 Robert Sinskey Merlot Los Carneros Napa Private Reserve.
April
Stewart Kahn of
Redondo Beach, California. 80,000
Blondes A 1 ˝ pound box of Godiva truffles plus a two pound box of Godiva
Gold Ballotin chocolate as his award. A Second Time Winner March
John Wold of St. Charles, Illinois The Internet Warnings A
1 pound box of Godiva truffles as his reward February
Dash Menkin of Elko,
Nevada The
Blonde and the Attorney A big box of See's Millennium Tin chocolate
as his award. January
Jim
Hanzlik of Watsonville, California A
big box of See's favorite, Millenium Tin Collector, plus a Valentine
Day box to give to his sweetheart Past
Jokes of the Month Year 1999 December
Dan
Sorkin of Piedmont, California A
case of Chateau St. Julien Monterey Merlot Third
Time Winner
November
Stewart
Kahn of Los Angeles, California One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
October
Randy
Warshawsky of San Jose, California 1994 Joullian Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel
Valley 1996 Castillo Saugiuvese September
Dougald
Turnbull of Campbell, California 1989
Georis Cabernet Sauvignon, Carmel Valley 1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon
Napa Valley, Oakville August
Wally
Lunny of San Francisco/Glen Elen, California A case of 1997 Chateau
St. Julien Monterey Estate Merlot Second
Time Winner July
Kevin
Skelly of Saratoga, California 1994 Robert Sinskey Pinot Noir Reserve,
Los Carneros, Napa Valley 1995 Robert Sinskey Merlot Reserve, Los Carneros,
Napa Valley
June Chris
Cross of Hayward, California 1997
Duckhorn Vineyard Napa Valley Sauvignon Blanc, 1996 Clos Du Bois Sonoma County
Pinot Noir and a box of Schurras Fancy Chocolate May
John Turnbull of Mendocino, California
1995 Turnbull Cabernet Sauvignon, Napa Valley,
Oaksville April
Jerry
Jacob, San
Rafael, California One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
March
Bob Bressler, Los Altos Hills, California One
pound box of Godiva Chocolate
February
R. Donald
Chapman, San Jose, California 1994 Chateau Latour a Pomerol, prop.
Mme. L.P. Lacaste Loubal January
Jim
Beck, Los Gatos, California 1994 Estate Grown Copper-Garrod Cabernet
Sauvignon, Santa Cruz Mountain Appellation Past
Jokes of the Month Year 1998 December
Russ
Mattos, Mountain View, California Two great tickets plus parking pass
for the Monday Night San Francisco 49ergame at 3Com Park November
Kim
Davison, San Jose, California Case of 1998 Campus Oaks Chardonnay October
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California Two pound box of Godiva Chocolate and
second time winner, one pound box of Godiva Truffles September
Rosalie,
Santa Cruz, California 1995 "Reserve Speciale" Barons de
Rothschild (Lafite)Medoc August
Dan
Sorkin, Piedmont, California One pound box of Godiva Chocolate July
Jim
Swander, Bellevue, Washington 1989 Ridge Santa Cruz Mountain Monte
Bello June
Nanette
Weintraub, Los Gatos, California One pound box of Godiva Chocolate May
Walter
J. Lunny, III, San Francisco/Glen Ellen, California 1976 Bolla Amarone
Classico Chianti April
Jim
Hanzlik, Watsonville, California One pound box of Godiva Chocolate |