Dougald Turnbull
of Santa Clara, California

This was the Winner of the Joke of the Month

for September, 1999.

 

 Engineer Goes to Heaven

A Silicon Valley engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer, and from Milpitas---you're in the wrong place."

 

So the Silicon Valley engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

 

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, internet, e-mail, and there's no telling what this Silicon Valley engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer from Silicon Valley? That's a mistake ? he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says,

"No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

 

Satan laughs uproariously and answers,

"Yeah, right! And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

 

---------------------------

 

 

"Doohg", as it is pronounced, was born in Toronto.

 

"I am a Canadian and love my homeland but choose very definitely to live here, still one of the greatest areas in the world to live," he says "I love the climate, the range of choices for activities, the climate, the people, the climate. A lot of residents take this area for granted and that's a shame. I really cannot think of living anywhere else other than Northern California."

 

His father was a banker and worked for the Bank of Nova Scotia for over 50 years.

 

A good part of his growing up years were in Montreal where, he almost pursued a career in pro hockey. Later, while working in the steel mills in Hamilton, he decided to pursue a business career. He became a Canadian Chartered Accountant ( similar to  a CPA ).

 

Most of his career he has been in professional services, working for Arthur Andersen and the Canadian law firm of Stikeman Elliott. He had worked in this area with Andersen earlier and returned as Chief Financial Officer for KBM Office Furniture in San Jose. Since 1999,for the most part, he has been a self-employed consultant for small –medium sized businesses, although one of his clients, RHK, a market research firm focused on telecom, did convince him to be their CFO for a 18 months as they made their way through VC financing and rapid growth.

 

"I'm fortunate to be married to the only woman I've ever loved, Leatrice," he says. "We just celebrated our 34th anniversary in August. She truly is a 'renaissance woman' who has had to reinvent herself too many times as I've satisfied my wanderlust through Canada and California. She is one of the most creative and energetic individuals I have ever met. “

 

 

For several years he has been on the Board of Directors for Silicon Valley Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse, an organization dedicated"... to educating the public about the real cost of frivolous lawsuits that bog down the courts. I think we are making great progress, but it is an ongoing struggle sometimes to help people value the freedoms, and along with that, the responsibilities, that exist in the USA."

Doug is also on the Board of Directors for the Silicon Valley chapter of Financial Executives International.

 

Doog adds that he loves the San Jose Sharks, but has a difficult time knowing who to cheer for when the Montreal Canadians are in town. He also loves "visiting wineries, walking the beach, especially Aptos- Seascape area, and doing my own gardening. I work out regularly at the Decathlon Club. Most of all, I try to get outdoors as much as possible."

 

He is also active on the Internet for information and especially enjoys a good joke now and then.