"JOKE OF THE MONTH"
The rules are simple to win: No "xxx" jokes, sorry. Kit Menkin cannot win (relatives, friends and employees can enter and win). Please note, if in the decision of the judges there is no "best" joke, a previous month may be included, and like in horseshoes, there are no ties. Winners of previous months can also win a second or third time - There is no limit.
me your favorite joke. The first one to send it, not only gets the credit,
but a good bottle of wine or a box of chocolates (the winners choice).
Winner for February 2003
Jeffrey H. Reynolds, Ph.D.
Prize a bottle of 1996 Rombauer Napa Valley Merlot.
Dachshund in Africa
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund Spike along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thinks "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!"
Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
Spike sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet... and just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says, "Where's that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."
IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, THEN BAFFLE THEM.
This is the third time he has won:
Jeff Reynolds is an multimedia developer who specializes in designing and building natural science educational materials. He has developed a range of interactive databases used to track humpback whale behavior in Alaska. He has developed programs on both the Apple Macintosh and IBM PC platforms in a number of different authoring systems including Hypercard, Metacard, Supercard, Plus, and Toolbook. He has worked on a number of novel interactive input and output systems, including passive, integrated transponder tags (radio tags), bar codes, touch screens, multiple device controller systems, digital video, digital audio, and animation. Dr. Reynolds extensive science background allows him to be extremely effective at designing interactive content and directing its production.
Dr. Reynolds has designed/developed interactive exhibits for the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the St. Louis Zoo, the Museum of Technology (San Jose, CA), the California African American Museum, the National Aquarium, the Florida Aquarium, and the Mount St. Helens Visitor Center. He has designed and produced critically acclaimed CD ROMs for the National Science Foundation (Earth Explorer published by Apple Computer) and Jean-Michel Cousteau (Cities Under the Sea: Coral Reefs published by Enteractive), as well as patient education CD-ROMs for Kaiser Permanente. He has also developed web sites for natural history and non profit groups. Dr. Reynolds has also developed digital data collection and management systems for his humpback whale cooperative feeding behavior research in southeast Alaska.
Dr. Reynolds has six years experience as a research biologist, fourteen years experience as a multimedia designer, programmer, and producer, and five years experience in exhibit research. He received his doctorate in molecular biology from the University of California at Berkeley and his bachelor of science in biochemistry/biology/genetics with honors from the University of California at Davis.
Last year he moved from Oakland to Maryland with his girlfriend, Dorothy Broadman and enjoys adventure travel around the world, playing with toys, watching Star Treks and SciFi, as well as woodworking and tinkering in his home shop.
"Dorothy got a job as the director of corporate citizenship for Capital One (the what's in your wallet folks) back here, so decided to go east. Most of my friends from graduate school are in this area now and worked back here in dc in the early 90s during the CD-rom boom and have a lot of friends from that too. Most of my old buddies moved out of the bay area and it was getting harder and harder to see folks in the north bay and down in the south bay with the traffic (at least the beltway isn't as bad as 880 or 101 yet...)"
"If just once a week someone opens one of the joke emails and gets a really good belly laugh (especially if liquids being drunk spew out the reader's nose) that helps lighten a dark mood or moment, I feel the world is a slightly better place..."
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